Clever Horse Names (269 Awesome Ideas)

When you get your own horse, you have to find a name. There are many clever horse names available, but this will be imperative if you plan on putting it in the races. So, get your thinking cap on to come up with nomenclature that will be original and hilarious. 

The names in the list below cover female horse names while others are general names; some are breed-specific and others are for race horses or males. If you don’t find these suitable, hopefully, they will spark your imagination.

Clever Horse Names

Best Clever Horse Names

When choosing a funny name for your horse, ensure it will stay that way and not become an embarrassment over time. This can be challenging, so consider whether it’s only funny for the moment or if it has staying power.

  1. Shoulda Been First
  2. Whykickamoocow  
  3. Colt Forty-Five
  4. Little Update
  5. Thirty Pepperonis
  6. Never Home
  7. I Win You Get Nothing
  8. Mane Attraction
  9. GluteusMaximus
  10. Blow Me
  11. Honey Bunches of Oats
  12. Custard The Dragon
  13. Army Mule
  14. Purple Majesty
  15. Go Go Gadget
  16. Gaits of Hell
  17. Stormy
  18. Clear So Far
  19. Macareigna
  20. Kangaroo Louboutin
  21. Magic Carpet Burns
  22. Dothraki Warrior
  23. Weebiscuit
  24. Black Beauty
  25. Hoof Hearted
  26. Bee Jersey
  27. Neigh Sayer
  28. Myexwifesashes
  29. TakeTheOneOOne
  30. Lil’ Hoarse
  31. My Little Pony
  32. Trojan Horse
  33. Rocinante
  34. Pocket Rocket
  35. Talk Derby to Me  
  36. DoReMeFaSoLaTiDo
  37. Lucky Strike
  38. Attention Shoppers
  39. Horsen around
  40. Kiss My Asterisk
  41. Instead of Homework
  42. Hot to Trot
  43. All Daddy’s Money
  44. Overdraft
  45. It’s Only Money Honey
  46. Ubetyamilkncookies
  47. And I’m Worth It
  48. Crikeyitswhykie
  49. High Maintenance
  50. Gas Station Sushi
  51. Making History
  52. Odor in the Court
  53. Tater Trot
  54. Spirit Of Independence
  55. Hemi
  56. National Debt
  57. Hoofing It
  58. Horse Power
  59. Bumblebzbuzz
  60. Maythehorsebewithu
  61. Im Hott Ur Nott
  62. Trashytonguetalker
  63. Wearthefoxhat
  64. Yesbyjimminy
  65. Furret
  66. Thunderstruck
  67. L on Wheels  
  68. Will Run for Food
  69. Can Jump
  70. Mane Event
  71. I Dun It Again
  72. BuckleUp Buttercup
  73. Biscuit Eater
  74. Blame The Rider
  75. Lollygagger
  76. Late for Dinner
  77. Apple Sauce
  78. Thumper
  79. Boom Boom Bay Be
  80. Peanuts Envy  
  81. BBH Big Beautiful Horsey
  82. Foalin Around
  83. Sofacan Fast  
  84. Furry Pants
  85. Broomstick
  86. Shakalakaboomboom
  87. Scout
  88. Transmission
  89. Hoosier Daddy
  90. The Bee’s Knees
  91. Long Face
  92. Dot Com
  93. Flicka  
  94. Dappleganger
  95. Tax Return
  96. Clodhopper
  97. Sofacan Slow
  98. Cookies Are Good
  99. Eye Popping  
  100. Will Jump for Food
  101. Frisky No More
  102. Orient Express
  103. In Kuh Hoots
  104. Maple Stirrup
  105. Half Fast  
  106. Heisenberg
  107. Got Hay  

Clever Female Horse Names

When you have a female horse with a clever attitude, try one of these to see if they fit her. Your mare could be a straight smart aleck, in which case her name should reflect it.

  1. Flurry Heart
  2. Aster Lane 
  3. Pinkie Pie
  4. Filly Cent
  5. Wisteria Meadows
  6. Teeny Turner
  7. Peggy Sue
  8. Bitney Spurs
  9. Kate Winsalot
  10. Miss Bee Havin
  11. Mustang Muse
  12. Lil Filly
  13. Cherish 
  14. Kolt Kardashian
  15. Meadow River 
  16. Frou Frou
  17. NightMare
  18. Gypsy
  19. Alysheba
  20. Sunset Shimmer
  21. Smokinpaddylassie
  22. Kleo
  23. Tempest Shadow
  24. Twilight Glimmer
  25. Meridian
  26. Mustang Sally
  27. Get ‘Er Dun
  28. Hay Girl
  29. Velvet Rose 
  30. Lil E Tee
  31. Her Butts A Dragon  
  32. Miss Dungeniality  
  33. Lucy Goosey
  34. Flying Ebony
  35. Tipsy Fandango
  36. Princess Cadence
  37. Mare ‘N Go
  38. Just Mare-Ied
  39. Victorias Secret
  40. Hermioneigh
  41. Charismatic
  42. Halma

Clever Male Horse Names

When you have a stallion or a gelding that’s a total clown, you might want to see if a punny horse name will work for him. Observe his mannerisms and attitude for ideas.

  1. What the Buck
  2. Sylvester Stallion
  3. Kevin
  4. Hay Jude
  5. Napoleon
  6. David Hasselhoofs
  7. My Mane Man
  8. Pony Montana
  9. Chester Drawers
  10. Ricky Bobby
  11. Luke
  12. Mister Ed
  13. Pony Boy
  14. Scottie Too Hottie
  15. Gomer
  16. Dustin Hoofman
  17. Forrest Jump
  18. Ron Neighsly
  19. Tricky Dicky
  20. Lostma Cowboy
  21. Chuck Horris
  22. Liam Neighson
  23. Dennis the Menace
  24. Al Capony
  25. Hannibal Lector
  26. Houdini
  27. Rusty Saddle
  28. His Eminence
  29. Hoof Jackman
  30. Mr. McWhinney
  31. Harry Trotter
  32. Pony Soprano
  33. Tommy Haflinger
  34. Cremello Anthony
  35. HelloI’mJohnnyCashh  
  36. Gallant Fox
  37. Jon Bon Pony
  38. Justin Thyme
  39. Leon Trotsky
  40. Lumber Jack
  41. Spongebob Horsepants
  42. Usain Colt
  43. Al Canopy
  44. Sparky Mcclone
  45. General Tso
  46. Horsey McHorseface
  47. Sergeant Wreckless
  48. Hez Prepaid  
  49. Arnold Schwarzeneigh-gger

Clever Horse Show Names

Many horse owners who enter their steeds for show always have a heck of a time deciding on a name. So, if this is you, you’re not alone. Envision what the name will sound like when the announcer says it.

  1. Always Lopin Sober
  2. Hands Off My Kalua
  3. PantySnatcher
  4. Hey that’s My Number
  5. ItsMyMoneyHoney
  6. The Broads A Mechanic!    
  7. Freezin My Assets Off
  8. RR Ricky Bobby 
  9. Bad Acid  
  10. Drink Boogie Repeat
  11. IOnlyDateFoxes.
  12. EyellBTheBestMartini
  13. Whenthesungoesdown.
  14. ImaRedHotBabe
  15. Patch My Britches
  16. FormTheLineBehind
  17. Whatsyourpleasuremr
  18. My Diamond Ring
  19. DontTryThisAtHome  
  20. MadeToGetPaid  
  21. ForTheLoveoftheGame
  22. KissMeintheMoonlight
  23. Smoothly Dun
  24. Who Needs Therapy
  25. You Ain’t Just Tootin  
  26. PippiBlondeStocking
  27. Scared Shiftless  
  28. Broke My Zipper  
  29. Can’t Help But Notice Me
  30. Shakeyourmooniemaker
  31. OopsMyZippersDown
  32. Meter Made
  33. Forurviewingpleasure
  34. Bill E Idol
  35. Wallawallawhiz
  36. Basic Transportation
  37. Man O Love  
  38. Change For A Dollar  
  39. A Dynamite Lover
  40. FeatherInMyPants
  41. Serious Inquiry Only  
  42. Hoof Hearted
  43. Ubetimwhistlindixie
  44. Been There Zipped That
  45. RushToUnzipMe
  46. MySocksAreShowing  
  47. Iron-I-Lucky
  48. Spank My Wranglers
  49. Smooth Like Me    
  50. Winnerwinnerchikndinner  
  51. Kiss My Assets
  52. None of Your Business.
  53. Tickled Zipless
  54. Mer Made  
  55. HillHaveATaco
  56. Check My Cheeks  
  57. WamBamThankYouMa’am
  58. Without Undies
  59. Expensive Hobby
  60. Dancin N The Dirt
  61. Kick Asset
  62. Unzip  
  63. Daddy Daycare
  64. Whostheblondestranger
  65. Back That Cash Up
  66. Ali Bar Bar  
  67. Brighteyedbroad
  68. Get Lucky
  69. Miss Zippy
  70. Titan Your Buns
  71. Daddy’s Money  

Horse Name Inspiration

The best name for your horse will almost always come from the horse itself. Using things like breed, hooves, neigh, trot and etc can become a play on words. Think of famous personalities, colloquial phrases, slang, and other bits of jargon. 

Help Choosing The Right Name

There are so many possibilities, it can seem overwhelming to come up with an original name for your horse. Take your time and give it a few days, there’s no need to rush this. With a little patience, it will show itself.

In the event, you’ll be racing the horse, follow prescribed naming regulations. But, also note that the name you register for the horse doesn’t have to be the name they announce. 

Conclusion

Although there are a few things to keep in mind when opting for a funny or clever name, you want to be as poignant as possible. A name that gives a good chuckle will always be great. However, you don’t want it to become an embarrassment later on and you want to ensure it’s not just funny in the moment.

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