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When you get your own horse, you have to find a name. There are many clever horse names available, but this will be imperative if you plan on putting it in the races. So, get your thinking cap on to come up with nomenclature that will be original and hilarious.
The names in the list below cover female horse names while others are general names; some are breed-specific and others are for race horses or males. If you don’t find these suitable, hopefully, they will spark your imagination.
Best Clever Horse Names
When choosing a funny name for your horse, ensure it will stay that way and not become an embarrassment over time. This can be challenging, so consider whether it’s only funny for the moment or if it has staying power.
- Shoulda Been First
- Whykickamoocow
- Colt Forty-Five
- Little Update
- Thirty Pepperonis
- Never Home
- I Win You Get Nothing
- Mane Attraction
- GluteusMaximus
- Blow Me
- Honey Bunches of Oats
- Custard The Dragon
- Army Mule
- Purple Majesty
- Go Go Gadget
- Gaits of Hell
- Stormy
- Clear So Far
- Macareigna
- Kangaroo Louboutin
- Magic Carpet Burns
- Dothraki Warrior
- Weebiscuit
- Black Beauty
- Hoof Hearted
- Bee Jersey
- Neigh Sayer
- Myexwifesashes
- TakeTheOneOOne
- Lil’ Hoarse
- My Little Pony
- Trojan Horse
- Rocinante
- Pocket Rocket
- Talk Derby to Me
- DoReMeFaSoLaTiDo
- Lucky Strike
- Attention Shoppers
- Horsen around
- Kiss My Asterisk
- Instead of Homework
- Hot to Trot
- All Daddy’s Money
- Overdraft
- It’s Only Money Honey
- Ubetyamilkncookies
- And I’m Worth It
- Crikeyitswhykie
- High Maintenance
- Gas Station Sushi
- Making History
- Odor in the Court
- Tater Trot
- Spirit Of Independence
- Hemi
- National Debt
- Hoofing It
- Horse Power
- Bumblebzbuzz
- Maythehorsebewithu
- Im Hott Ur Nott
- Trashytonguetalker
- Wearthefoxhat
- Yesbyjimminy
- Furret
- Thunderstruck
- L on Wheels
- Will Run for Food
- Can Jump
- Mane Event
- I Dun It Again
- BuckleUp Buttercup
- Biscuit Eater
- Blame The Rider
- Lollygagger
- Late for Dinner
- Apple Sauce
- Thumper
- Boom Boom Bay Be
- Peanuts Envy
- BBH Big Beautiful Horsey
- Foalin Around
- Sofacan Fast
- Furry Pants
- Broomstick
- Shakalakaboomboom
- Scout
- Transmission
- Hoosier Daddy
- The Bee’s Knees
- Long Face
- Dot Com
- Flicka
- Dappleganger
- Tax Return
- Clodhopper
- Sofacan Slow
- Cookies Are Good
- Eye Popping
- Will Jump for Food
- Frisky No More
- Orient Express
- In Kuh Hoots
- Maple Stirrup
- Half Fast
- Heisenberg
- Got Hay
Clever Female Horse Names
When you have a female horse with a clever attitude, try one of these to see if they fit her. Your mare could be a straight smart aleck, in which case her name should reflect it.
- Flurry Heart
- Aster Lane
- Pinkie Pie
- Filly Cent
- Wisteria Meadows
- Teeny Turner
- Peggy Sue
- Bitney Spurs
- Kate Winsalot
- Miss Bee Havin
- Mustang Muse
- Lil Filly
- Cherish
- Kolt Kardashian
- Meadow River
- Frou Frou
- NightMare
- Gypsy
- Alysheba
- Sunset Shimmer
- Smokinpaddylassie
- Kleo
- Tempest Shadow
- Twilight Glimmer
- Meridian
- Mustang Sally
- Get ‘Er Dun
- Hay Girl
- Velvet Rose
- Lil E Tee
- Her Butts A Dragon
- Miss Dungeniality
- Lucy Goosey
- Flying Ebony
- Tipsy Fandango
- Princess Cadence
- Mare ‘N Go
- Just Mare-Ied
- Victorias Secret
- Hermioneigh
- Charismatic
- Halma
Clever Male Horse Names
When you have a stallion or a gelding that’s a total clown, you might want to see if a punny horse name will work for him. Observe his mannerisms and attitude for ideas.
- What the Buck
- Sylvester Stallion
- Kevin
- Hay Jude
- Napoleon
- David Hasselhoofs
- My Mane Man
- Pony Montana
- Chester Drawers
- Ricky Bobby
- Luke
- Mister Ed
- Pony Boy
- Scottie Too Hottie
- Gomer
- Dustin Hoofman
- Forrest Jump
- Ron Neighsly
- Tricky Dicky
- Lostma Cowboy
- Chuck Horris
- Liam Neighson
- Dennis the Menace
- Al Capony
- Hannibal Lector
- Houdini
- Rusty Saddle
- His Eminence
- Hoof Jackman
- Mr. McWhinney
- Harry Trotter
- Pony Soprano
- Tommy Haflinger
- Cremello Anthony
- HelloI’mJohnnyCashh
- Gallant Fox
- Jon Bon Pony
- Justin Thyme
- Leon Trotsky
- Lumber Jack
- Spongebob Horsepants
- Usain Colt
- Al Canopy
- Sparky Mcclone
- General Tso
- Horsey McHorseface
- Sergeant Wreckless
- Hez Prepaid
- Arnold Schwarzeneigh-gger
Clever Horse Show Names
Many horse owners who enter their steeds for show always have a heck of a time deciding on a name. So, if this is you, you’re not alone. Envision what the name will sound like when the announcer says it.
- Always Lopin Sober
- Hands Off My Kalua
- PantySnatcher
- Hey that’s My Number
- ItsMyMoneyHoney
- The Broads A Mechanic!
- Freezin My Assets Off
- RR Ricky Bobby
- Bad Acid
- Drink Boogie Repeat
- IOnlyDateFoxes.
- EyellBTheBestMartini
- Whenthesungoesdown.
- ImaRedHotBabe
- Patch My Britches
- FormTheLineBehind
- Whatsyourpleasuremr
- My Diamond Ring
- DontTryThisAtHome
- MadeToGetPaid
- ForTheLoveoftheGame
- KissMeintheMoonlight
- Smoothly Dun
- Who Needs Therapy
- You Ain’t Just Tootin
- PippiBlondeStocking
- Scared Shiftless
- Broke My Zipper
- Can’t Help But Notice Me
- Shakeyourmooniemaker
- OopsMyZippersDown
- Meter Made
- Forurviewingpleasure
- Bill E Idol
- Wallawallawhiz
- Basic Transportation
- Man O Love
- Change For A Dollar
- A Dynamite Lover
- FeatherInMyPants
- Serious Inquiry Only
- Hoof Hearted
- Ubetimwhistlindixie
- Been There Zipped That
- RushToUnzipMe
- MySocksAreShowing
- Iron-I-Lucky
- Spank My Wranglers
- Smooth Like Me
- Winnerwinnerchikndinner
- Kiss My Assets
- None of Your Business.
- Tickled Zipless
- Mer Made
- HillHaveATaco
- Check My Cheeks
- WamBamThankYouMa’am
- Without Undies
- Expensive Hobby
- Dancin N The Dirt
- Kick Asset
- Unzip
- Daddy Daycare
- Whostheblondestranger
- Back That Cash Up
- Ali Bar Bar
- Brighteyedbroad
- Get Lucky
- Miss Zippy
- Titan Your Buns
- Daddy’s Money
Horse Name Inspiration
The best name for your horse will almost always come from the horse itself. Using things like breed, hooves, neigh, trot and etc can become a play on words. Think of famous personalities, colloquial phrases, slang, and other bits of jargon.
Help Choosing The Right Name
There are so many possibilities, it can seem overwhelming to come up with an original name for your horse. Take your time and give it a few days, there’s no need to rush this. With a little patience, it will show itself.
In the event, you’ll be racing the horse, follow prescribed naming regulations. But, also note that the name you register for the horse doesn’t have to be the name they announce.
Conclusion
Although there are a few things to keep in mind when opting for a funny or clever name, you want to be as poignant as possible. A name that gives a good chuckle will always be great. However, you don’t want it to become an embarrassment later on and you want to ensure it’s not just funny in the moment.
If you’re still looking for more inspiration, check out these awesome lists of horse names!